


The Great Shipping War

by Sonikah



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonikah/pseuds/Sonikah
Summary: Reyn, Sharla, Dunban, and Riki have a polite and definitely not heated discussion about whether Shulk will end up in a relationship with Melia or Fiora. Chaos ensues, and it's all Reyn's fault. As usual.
Relationships: Fiora/Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles), Melia Ancient | Melia Antiqua/Shulk
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	The Great Shipping War

**Disclaimer:** Xenoblade Chronicles is a JRPG by Monolith Soft. The cover image for this story is a screenshot taken in-game.

* * *

The whole debacle was Reyn’s fault, as usual.

Reyn, Dunban, Sharla, and Riki were sitting at the table in Dunban’s house for lunch. In between bites of food, Reyn decided to ask a question that had been on his mind or a while.

“So,” Reyn began, “who do you lot think Shulk will end up with? Melia or Fiora?”

Dunban stopped eating to give Reyn a quizzical look. “Why would Shulk enter a relationship with Melia? He and Fiora have been inseparable since they were younger. As much as I’d like to play the protective older brother, I trust Shulk with my life… and I would trust him to treat her well,” he concluded with a faint smile.

“See, that’s what I thought!” Reyn agreed. “But Sharla somehow got it in her head that he’s sweet on Melia instead.”

Sharla huffed. “That was a private conversation, _Reyn_. But now that we’re on the subject, _yes_ , I do think that Shulk and Melia would be quite a lovely couple. He did an excellent job of breaking her façade and drawing her out of her shell, and she comforted him while he was still grieving over the attack on Colony 9. Shulk was so focused on getting revenge at the start of our quest, but after meeting Melia he started to care for his friends more.”

“Riki think so too, and so does Wifeypon! Riki think that Melly and Shulk will make many littlepons together! Wifeypon Oka gave Melly advice on how to make Shulk hers, and Wifeypon is always right!” Riki exclaimed.

“What’re you on about, Furball? I’m Shulk’s best mate, and I know him better than anyone! He’s like a brother to me! I know for a fact that he’s leagues more interested in Fiora than he is in Melia,” Reyn replied.

“He’s like a brother to you? Then maybe Fiora is like a sister to Shulk. They might be close, but their relationship could just be platonic,” Sharla cut in.

Dunban shook his head. “As Fiora’s _actual_ brother, I can say with certainty that the way those two look at each other is anything but platonic. Melia might have feelings for Sulk, but I doubt that those feelings are reciprocated.”

Sharla sighed. “You two bachelors have no eye for romance. Riki and I have both been in committed relationships before, and we can clearly see how much chemistry Shulk and Melia have.”

Riki nodded so hard that it looked like he was hopping up and down. “Melly say things about Shulk to Riki that Fiora never say about Shulk!”

“He’s never once talked about being into her! But he’s always going on about what Fiora would like or dislike!” Reyn shot back.

Riki shot back a reply, and the conversation between the four quickly devolved into a loud squabble. Each person started talking loudly over one another to try and get their points across.

Melia and Fiora, the subjects of this intense debate, sat together at a table in the same room, fully within earshot of the rest of the group.

“How is your tea, Fiora?” Melia asked politely.

Fiora took another sip. “It’s quite good, thanks. You said it was from Alcamoth?”

Melia nodded and began pouring another cup for herself. The two pointedly ignored the loud noise of Reyn slamming his fist down on the dining table to punctuate a point.

“Speaking of Alcamoth,” Melia began, “did Shulk tell you about the view from the palace? He and I quite enjoyed having chats on the balconies where we could look out on the city together.” She gave Fiora a coy glance. “Many High Entia have said that the view from the Royal Terrace is quite romantic.”

Fiora hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think he mentioned it, no. But he’s never really mentioned you whenever he and I speak together. Why, did I come up frequently in your little chats with him?”

Melia winced a bit. She couldn’t get away with a lie, so she would have to be honest. “Well, yes, but only towards the beginning of friendship. He had actually stopped bringing you up before you came back to life.” The princess gave Fiora a pointed look. “It’s almost as if he had gotten over you.”

Fiora’s gentle smile grew a little sharper. “Well, if he had really gotten over me, then he sure came back around quick, huh? It didn’t take long before we were together again like I was never gone. Is he as close to you now as he was before my return?”

Melia shot a venomous glare across the table. If looks could kill, Fiora would be dead. Again.

“I just hope that whoever Shulk ends up marrying is someone that he has genuine chemistry with, and not just the only girl around from when he was younger,” said the High Entia princess.

“How can he have chemistry with a person if he never showed any interest in them in the first place? Why would Shulk look elsewhere for a romantic partner when he already has one that he’s interested in?”

Melia hummed. “Ah, but when I asked Shulk about the future, he mentioned that he was interested in having a family. I hope that he ends up marrying someone able to give him children of his own.” She punctuated that low blow with a sip of tea. The teacup failed to hide her smug grin entirely.

Fiora had to physically restrain herself from clenching her hands into fists and shattering the teacup into pieces. She didn’t have a response to that, and Melia knew it too. Her half-Machina body looked similar to her old one, but it was missing a large number of organs, including her reproductive system. The Homs girl decided to change the subject and go for the throat. “Did you hear about how Shulk gave me mouth to mouth?”

Melia’s smug grin faded, so Fiora continued with vindictive glee. “I was very dehydrated, so Shulk use his mouth to give me water.” Fiora leaned forward to go for the kill. “It was like a _kiss_. My first one, and Shulk’s first one too. If you had such good chemistry with him, why did he never kiss you?”

Melia opened her mouth to respond, but couldn’t think of a comeback. At the sight of Fiora’s smug look, she decided to bring out the big guns.

"At least I still have a vagina, you overgrown toaster!" Melia spat.

Fiora drew her blade and aimed her gun drones at Melia's head. "You take that back, you stuck-up, ancient, cradle-robbing whore!"

Melia screeched and launched herself across the table in a flying tackle to collide with a shocked Fiora. The teapot fell off the table and shattered on the floor, and the two girls rolled through the puddle of hot tea as they fought. Fiora's sword skittered across the ground after she let go of it. Fiora’s drones and Melia's elementals were completely ignored as the two punched, kicked, and clawed at each other instead.

"Fiora!" Dunban cried as he leapt to break up the fight.

"Melia!" Sharla jumped out of her chair and ran towards Melia at the same time that Dunban did.

"Woooh! Catfight!" Reyn cheered while staying seated.

"No no no! Friends should not fight! Riki dance the Nopon dance of peace!" Riki wailed.

Right as Fiora managed to use her mechanically-augmented strength to force Melia into a headlock, Shulk chose that moment to walk into the house.

“Guess what, guys! I’ve managed to use a bit of Machina tech that we found to increase the efficiency of our…” Shulk trailed off as he watched two of his closest friends try to rip out each other’s throats both figuratively and literally. Fiora froze and stared at the object of her affections with wide eyes. Melia, still pinned but futilely trying to smack Fiora in the face with her head-wings, caught sight of Shulk and blanched.

“What did I miss?” he asked with a confused tilt of his head.

Sharla took a break from trying to pull Melia off of Fiora to pinch her brow and sigh. “Why am I friends with you people, again?”

* * *

**Author’s Note:** This is my first time actually publishing anything, so I’d appreciate any feedback, positive or negative. The idea for this story popped into my head while I was playing through NG+ of the Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition. I’m on Team Melia, by the way.

(First published on Jan 14, 2021)


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